So, I have an idea about the "fame" stat, and some flavor text that should appear for characters with Actress, Director, Singer, or Porn Star professions or the Queen or Idol social traits. Namely, I like the idea that, as their fame increases, certain events can trigger fanboy text. I don't know if this possible, but I think that it'd be cool if at a certain level of fame, a certain number of interactions spawn fanboy text. These texts would be relative to the specific trait assigned to the girl, and could also be tied to certain levels of skill.
Not a bad idea, although I am not a fan of the direct speech you use in your examples.
Still a good idea to spice up the 'why the customer choose this girl' and customer satisfaction areas that tend to be very bland currently.
Personally I'd go more along the lines of making the girl be in the moment rather than objectified as they are at the moment and cover how you even see the event.
I kept close to the original style intentionally. My usual writing style is quite different, but doesn't fit into how the rest of the game is written. Rereading some of the quips of mine, I can see where you are coming from though.
But the problem with your 'observant' style is that you more or less force the player into a point of view, regardless of what their characters disposition is or how the player imagines their character would act in that situation.
It also brings with it the problem that the character has a good chance to come of as a hyperactive creep. In this style you can quickly get to the point where the player character takes a look at each single act of Sex in the brothel, which doesn't seem too bad in the early game when you have only a few whores work each shift. But you have to keep in mind that you can have multiple Brothels, each with a large number of working girls, that can service up to ten customers each.
While you can see that I have my problems with your texts I am actually happy someone stepped up and wrote some, so I hope you don't let my critique stop you trying your hand at more.
