New Event Submission/Discussion Thread (Unlocked, sorry bout that!)

[Krayben]

I mentioned this in a reply to another topic, but I wanted to make sure people could see and provide opinions, should I join the project.

Like the title says, I'm a writer (although not published) and an English minor. I'd like to offer my services in giving the game a bit more of a narrative so the player can see a complete story unfold around his actions toward his customers, his rivals, and all the fine "ho's and bitches" under his employ.

If you're interested, Necno, please let me know via PM or e-mail and give me a list of events you'd like me to write for. I can't code to save my own life, but I can write short yet descriptive erotica to make your work load at least a little lighter. I hope you'll take me up on my offer because this game is great and I'd love to be a part of it. Hope to hear from you soon.

EDIT: I don't mean to say that the writing isn't good already. Believe me, I love the writing so far. I just want to do my part and make the development process easier.

[letmein]

It's always nice to see fresh blood...

[Krayben]

Thanks, I hope I actually get to help out with the game.

[Fstop]

those fresh blood rhyme with flesh bud ?

[Krayben]

No idea, but fresh blood makes sharks go into a feeding frenzy.

[necno]

Plenty of sharks here in OZ.
In fact we have a really inviting river in Brisbane where even on the hottest day you will never see anyone swim. Its rather frustrating as the weather here is starting to warm up.
I could definitely use someone to write new or improve dialog. Also coming up with additional ways of saying the existing text. As I can add multiple feedback for each event (ie the same event may happen twice but you get different text). More useful though, would be if you or  anyone could write short branching stories (like the choose your own adventure books) for the girls that come with the game. Then i would have no problem scripting them.

[Krayben]

I'll get right on that, hombre. *Zips off to write, leaving the cigarette and sunglasses hanging in mid-air.*

[letmein]

Oh, necno, my respect for you just shot up yet another thousand points.  Australia is, in a word, terrifying.  *Everything* there kills people.  The animals there are just on a whole different level of "scary" than anywhere else, the only possible exception being the central Amazon.

[Krayben]

Like dingos and wombats or something? Sorry, the wildlife of Australia hasn't been one of my areas of study. Wouldn't mind hearing about some of these scary creatures. Or just names so I can look them up on my own time.

[letmein]

http://www.cracked.com/article_17579_7-terrifying-giant-versions-disgusting-critters.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_16868_6-deadliest-creatures-that-can-fit-in-your-shoe.html


Sure, they're not *all* Australian, but close enough.  When traveling there, just assume everything is either a) carniverous, b) poisonous, c) parasitic, of d) absolutely, completely horrifying.  Basically the only thing that won't kill you on sight are the kangaroos, which instead opt for the "suicidal destruction" also favored by the American whitetail deer, and try to find cars to wreck.


EDIT:  little-known fact:  platypus (native to Australia), beside being absolutely ridiculous to behold, have poisonous barbs on their rear legs.  Just because having a beak wasn't crazy enough...

[necno]

Maybe look up drop bears

[letmein]

SEE!!!?!!!  I told you...  I bet necno has to grab a .45 just to get to car.

[Krayben]

I can upload the designs I have for a flaming potato gun if I can just find them. Halloween night, I set up zip-lines all around town and rained down fiery spud-based terror on passing trick-or-treaters. I was a good Halloween. But I digress, if I can find them, you'll have a projectile weapon that guarantees amusing stories to tell when you use it.

"I shot flaming potatoes at a kangaroo and the bastard came up and kicked the shit out of me."
"One unfortunate koala got a flaming potato to the face when it thought it could drop down and rape me."
"Sixteen children were mauled by a rampaging platypus before a masked hero brought down the beast with a fiery potato barrage."

Safety measure AND a conversation piece.

[DocClox]

I can upload the designs I have for a flaming potato gun if I can just find them.

Unquestionably the weapon of choice when dealing with drop bears

[edit]

Since we're talking about improving the text, I thought I'd fiddle a bit with the opening text:

Welcome to Crossgate, a city in the realm of Mundiga,  where criminals rule and space and time overlap with  other worlds and dimensions.  Once a powerful crime lord in the city,  your father was recently assassinated and his assets looted by rivals. All that remains  is the fire-gutted shell of an old brothel that served as your father's  headquarters.

However this building hides some interesting secrets. Still concealed in the cellars is the dungeon where your father conducted  the less savory aspects of his business. Underneath,  endless catacombs extend, constantly shifting in the dimensional flux, which draws in beings and plunder  from a thousand different worlds.

Your job now is to return the brothel to its former glories of exotic women and carnal pleasures. That will give you the income you need to avenge your father, and resume your rightful place as his successor.

It is up to you if you will be as evil as your father or not, but in any case you start with very little gold and your first  order of business should be to purchase some girls from the slave market, and to hire some goons to guard your headquarters.

Just came across the text in source code, couldn't resist the urge to fiddle...

Here's a thought: the idea of the first building being gutted by fire crept in because it made the prose more evocative. Still, it makes me wonder if a luxury level for the brothel might be in order. Say level zero has the clients shagging girls on stained mattresses in the burnt and blackened ruins. Level one costs 500 gold and has the place aired out and sheets on the beds. It could be tied to accommodation level, so that you couldn't put a girl up in better  accommodation than the luxury level of the brothel.

And of course, the more luxurious the decor, the better the class of clients you can attract.

[edit]

Also, there's the possibility of putting the girls to work cleaning the place up. Which I find oddly appealing. Be nice to do both, but I can't think how they'd dovetail, offhand.

[edit]

necro, how do you pronounce Mundiga, anyway? "Mun-didj-a?" "Mun-dee-ga?" "Mun-dig-er?"

I have got to stop editing this post...

[necno]

I used your new intro text over the one i had in there.
Cleaning brothels is already planned.
As for luxury level, it would make sense to make accommodation level for the girls affect the customers, that way it is realistic in that the girls sleep where they work and the higher class girls have more luxury rooms.